Sagging Pants. No…Diaper Boys

July 9, 2013 | By More

Barbara Saggy Panyd

It has come to my attention and to many who walk the streets of cities around the world, that certain young males –  between the ages of fourteen and into their early twenties –  who have managed to create for themselves an absence of any sensible and orderly way to wear their pants.  Oh, I am sure you have spotted one directly in front of your face as you climb up the stairs in your local train station while rushing to work or school.

Or while riding on the escalator in a department store or at the mall.

These individuals are from a variety of cultural ethnic groups. At one time there was a specific group in the early nineties on the streets.

For those of you who still remain clueless: Sagging is when someone wears their pants below their rear end exposing their underpants for all to view.

Whether one is wearing very baggy jeans, as was the case in the nineties or now wearing skinny jeans, the person is known as a sagger.  Saggers are not guided by the rule of thumb when it comes to style: a defiant act to rebel against society, in this case, to pull their pants up.

There was a time when Saggers thought that sagging would personify their so-called style in the five boroughs of New York or any other city around the world.   No.   Not the real city that you and I may inhabit but that dangerous, tough, and sad city of their imagination in an attempt to make themselves noticed within the crowd.

Saggers require and seek a great deal of attention. Saggers tend to cop a bad#ss attitude. Most people just wear a vacant look when encountering a Sagger. Anyone who dares to stare them in the eye or even lets outs a giggle, better beware so says their gaze.  However, I’ve found out that this bad#ss attitude is often a bluff.

In my willingness to understand the art of sagging, I interviewed many I encountered and asked why they prefer to wear their pants so low. Most shrugged their shoulders, others said they thought it made them look tough and cool. Really?

Perhaps in their eagerness to deceive themselves of the unpleasant reality that however it may look to others (mainly we that have to endure the insipid behavior) that in a Sagger’s mind they do not have the proper chemical brain processes needed to stir those synapses to think otherwise.

Sagging originated among prison inmates while in jail when the prison issued pants is a few sizes too large and one is not allowed a belt or suspenders to hole them up. Voila…sagging results.

Rappers grabbed hold (excuse the pun) of the idea that it really did look cool to wear their pants sagging hoping to create a whole generation of Saggers. Am so called cool media idea to sell songs.

Again, is it cool? No. Attractive? No.  Wait. Wait. Oh, I get it. Saggers are training for the first Sagging State Fair here in New York City. To be the best in show: how to sag your rear end.

Here are the contest rules:

  • Allowed only three times to touch or pull ones pants up while competing in any one game. More than three times, disqualified.
  • Fall to your knees, just once, disqualified.
  • No belts, no suspenders, no diaper pins, no Velcro, no rope, no duct tape allowed to hold outer pants – other than manufactured made band.
  • The first to expose flesh (actual rear end or frontal body part) disqualified – with their name and photo exhibited in the Hall of Shame.

What exciting games! There will be the 100 Yard Dash. Winner receives a year of pokadot shorts in various colors.  Or the Stadium Race Game. First one up and down ten flights of stadium steps and manages not to fall flat on their face at the bottom, wins a six months supply of Old Spice Body Wash.  Or the best and last game of all the Goat Butt.   Saggers line up with their rear ends sticking through a cut-out hole. A blind folded goat is lead down the line to sniff each rear end. The first Sagger not bitten wins a weekend guest pass to a local city prison to spend quality time with two hundred inmates.

What a fun time the winner will have explaining, face-to-face, why they are making fun of the way the inmates wear their pants on the inside.

Let us all enjoy this present state of stupidity in our daily lives by sharing the pleasure. Shall we. Be you male or female, young or old, together we can eradicate Sagging.

  • Take a photo of a Sagger’s rear end (from a safe distance). If you can take a full shot, the better.
  • Then take a photo of a baby or toddler’s rear end, wearing a diaper.
  • Photoshop only the diaper OVER the Sagger’s rear end and…Voila…Diaper Boy!
  • Post your photos as: Diaper Boy (or Girl) sighting at the mall, or on the A train, or at the corner of such and such, etc.

And together we will put a stop to stupidity among our fellow man and return the dignity and the giggles to the droppy diaper to where it truly belongs – to the adorable babies and toddlers – who know not what they do – consciously.

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Category: Culture, Fashion, Youth

Gandolfo Frady

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